Children and faith (RO/EN)

The first lesson about God

Copiii si credinta – prima lectie despre Dumnezeu

Cand si cum le vorbim copiilor despre credinta, despre religie si despre relatia cu divinitatea? Ce cuvinte alegem, mai ales atunci cand in aceasta discutie sunt implicate concepte greu de acceptat si
interiorizat chiar si pentru adulti, cum ar fi viata, moartea, invierea, viata vesnica, nemurirea? Stim ca ceea ce invatam de copii, de la cei dragi si apropiati, de la modelele noastre de viata, ne ramane profund inradacinat in suflet.

Sunt un copil crescut intr-o familie predominata de diversitate din punctul de vedere al credintei in Dumnezeu. Adica, toti ai mei sunt sau au fost crestini, unii dintre ei fiind acum mai aproape de Dumnezeu, mai lamuriti cu misterele vietii vesnice si mai linistiti in privinta marilor adevaruri care noua, muritorilor, ne sunt inca ascunse. Tatal meu s-a nascut intr-o familie in care mama era catolica, iar tatal ortodox. El a fost, in copilarie, baiat de altar, adica participa activ la ceremonialul religios. Mama lui, bunica mea paterna, a fost ceea ce se numeste o catolica ferventa, practicanta, cu mult respect pentru tot ceea ce inseamna biserica si divinitate. Apoi, la 18 ani, unicul ei copil a plecat pe front, in linia intai. Ea nu a lipsit o zi de la biserica in acest rastimp, pana cand si-a vazut copilul acasa. Dupa aceasta experienta ea a crezut mai mult si a multumit Sfintei Fecioare Maria ca i-a adus copilul inapoi, pana in ultima zi a vietii ei. Fiul ei, tatal meu, s-a intors din razboi ateu. Nu a putut trece peste acea trauma ingrozitoare, iar la ani, la zeci de ani dupa acea intoarcere, inca avea cosmaruri pe care nu le putea povesti nimanui. Dar boala care i-a pus capat vietii, la multa vreme dupa aceea, l-a intors catre Dumnezeu si a murit crezand in El.

Bunica mea materna provenea dintr-o familie de preoti ortodocsi si ea insasi a urmat in viata modelul mamei ei, femeie evlavioasa, cumsecade si inteleapta. Respecta ortodoxia veche, adica tinea toate sabatorile “pe stil vechi”. Adica decalate calendaristic fata de cele cunoscute de noi acum. Bunica a considerat ca este de datoria ei sa ma creasca religios. Nu mi-a povestit niciodata despre Baba – Cloanta si balauri, ci despre vietile mult incercate ale sfintilor.

Mergeam la biserica impreuna cu ambele bunici, fiecare ma ducea la biserica ei, acestea nefiind foarte departe una de cealalta. Evident, observam diferentele si incepusem sa intreb. De impartasit, ma impartaseam numai la ortodocsi, deoarece la catolici, prima impartasanie are loc ceva mai tarziu, la o varsta la care se considera ca un copil este suficient de mare ca sa inteleaga taina sfintei euharistii. Am invatat “Tatal Nostru” de la ambele bunici si observam ca fiecare isi face cruce in mod diferit. Mama a fost cea care mi-a explicat diferentele, inclusiv de ce serbam Pastele de doua ori si de ce bunica tot vorbeste de Craciunul pe stil vechi, incercand sa pastreze traditia mamei ei, strabunica mea. Oricum, ideea e ca traiam intr-o atmosfera in care traditia crestina era fireasca, iar oricine din familie imi explica ceea ce aveam nevoie de inteleg.

La fel am procedat si eu cu baiatul meu. Am vrut sa creasca stiind ca mai presus de orice exista Cineva deasupra noastra care ne poarta de grija si ne trimite Ingerasul Pazitor atunci cand avem nevoie. Cred cu tarie ca intr-o lume atat de dinamica, in continua schimbare, copiii au nevoie sa creasca avand cel putin un reper clar: pe cel al credintei. De mic, i-am vorbit lui David despre Dumnezeu. I-am spus ca inclusiv numele pe care il poarta il obliga la curaj, respect si intelepciune. L-am invatat “Ingerasul” de la varsta la care abia rostea cateva cuvinte, iar acum il spune si singur seara, la culcare. Am mers cu el la biserica, la sarbatori, l-am dus la impartasanie si i-am explicat importanta euharistiei (in cuvinte pe care el sa le poata intelege), i-am explicat despre Iisus Hristos, Sfanta Fecioara Maria si Dumnezeu. I-am raspuns la toate intrebarile pe care mi le-a adresat, in concepte pe care sa le poata intelege un copil.

Anul acesta, avand deja cinci ani, am fost, ca de obicei, la biserica. Iar el mi-a intrebat despre Sfanta Cruce, despre Sfanta Treime, despre rostul trecerii pe sub Sfanta Masa, despre Prohodul Domnului, despre Inviere si despre viata vesnica. I-am explicat totul, poate atingand unele subiecte delicate ca moartea. Dar i-am raspuns. In noaptea de Inviere, el statea in biserica, asculta slujba si plangea. Era atat de emotionat si imi spunea ca el crede in Domnul Iisus, ca il iubeste si ca este atat de bucuros sa stie ca, dupa ce noi, bunicii sau parintii, vom pleca la Ceruri, exista sansa de a ne reintalni dupa multi, multi ani.
Va doresc o Saptamana Luminata cu bucurii!

                                - ENGLISH VERSION -

Children and faith – the first lesson about God

When and how we talk to children about faith, religion and about the relationship with the divinity? What words we choose, especially when concepts involved in this discussion are difficult to be accepted and internalized even for adults, such as life, death, resurrection, eternal life, immortality? We know that what we learn as children from the loved ones, from our role models of life, remains deeply rooted in our soul.

I am a child raised in a family very diverse in terms of faith in God. I mean, all my family are or were Christians, some of whom are now closer to God more enlightened about the mysteries of eternal life and more peaceful regarding the great truths still hidden for us, the mortals. My father was born in a family where the mother was a Catholic and the father, an Orthodox. He was in childhood an altar boy, actively participating in religious ceremonies. His mother, my paternal grandmother, was what is called a devout and practicing Catholic, with tremendous reverence for the church and all that is divine. Then, at 18, her only child left for the front in the first line. She never missed a day at the church in all this time, until she saw her the child back home. After this experience, she believed more and she constantly thanked the Virgin Mary for bringing her child back until the last day of her life. Her son and my father, came back from the war as an atheist. He could not get over that terrible trauma and the years to decades after his return, he still had nightmares that he could not tell anyone. But the illness that ended his life, long after that, turned him back to God and he died believing in Him. My maternal grandmother came from a family of Orthodox priests and she followed her mother's role model, a pious, honest and wise woman. She was respecting the old orthodoxy, meaning that she was keeping all the holidays following "the old style", delayed from those known to us now. My grandmother considered it her duty to raise me religiously. She never told me bedtime stories about witches and dragons, but more about the lives of saints.

I went to church with both grandmothers, each of them taking me to her church, these two churches being not very far one another. Obviously, I was noticing the differences and started asking questions. I was going for the communion only to the Orthodox church, because in the Catholic Church, first communion takes place a little later, at an age when it is believed that a child is old enough to understand the mystery of the Holy Eucharist. We have learned "Our Father" from both my grandmothers and I was noticing that each of them was making the sing of holy the cross differently. My mother was the one who explained to me the differences, including why we were celebrating Easter twice and why my grandmother still talks about Christmas in the old style as trying to keep the tradition of her mother, my great grandmother. Anyway, the point is that I was living as a child in an atmosphere where Christian tradition was natural, and anyone in my family were ready to explain what I needed to understand.

Likewise I did with my boy. I wanted him to grow knowing that above all, there is Someone above us who cares for us and sends us the Guardian Angel when we are in need. I strongly believe that in a dynamic and permanently changing world, our children need to grow at least with a clear benchmark: the one of faith. From the little childhood, I have spoke to David about God. I said that including his name compels him to courage, respect and wisdom. I taught him the prayer "Little Angel" at the age at which he was barely saying a few words, and now it says it by himself at bedtime. I took him to the church on holidays, I brought him to the Communion and explained him the importance of the Holy Eucharist (in words he can understand), I explained also about Jesus Christ, the Holy Virgin Mary and God. I answered all the questions that he asked me, in concepts that a child can understand.

This year, David having already five years, both of us went, as usual, to the church. And he asked me about the Holy Cross, the Holy Trinity, about the passage under the Holy Table, the requiem (the funeral service of the Lord Jesus Christ), about the Resurrection and the eternal life. I have explained him everything, perhaps reaching some delicate themes as death. But I have answered. On the night of Easter, he was standing in church listening to the holy service and crying. He was so soulful and he told me that he believes in Jesus Christ, that he loves Him and that he is so glad to know that after his grandparents or parents will go to heaven, there still is a chance to meet again, after many, many years.

Have a Bright Week with joy!